So today was it. The last day of our first semester of clinicals. And I am totally and completely exhausted. It's been a really, really long last two weeks. A lot of nights spent working into the morning and mornings that happened well before the sun came up, and I am tired. But we have all survived. I am a little disappointed that I don't feel more successful by today's great milestone... But I am left feeling like I don't know exactly where I stand, in my instructors eyes anyway. And that's what matters. Evaluations will be next week, and that will be interesting. I don't know how it will go. I actually got the closest thing to a complement that she will ever give last Friday, and even that was riddled with the long lists of things that we did wrong or still need to work on. And I know, right now we totally suck and really don't have anything positive to comment on but the criticism and lack of any positive words has finally worn thin my people-pleasing personality. And though I roll with the punches and can actually take criticism much better than most, 15 weeks of it has worn me out. I am ready for it to be over. Ready for the summer and much needed break. Just ready to enjoy my family, have some fun, and relax and recoup before we start round two in the fall. It is nice to know, however, that my feelings are not at all isolated. They are mutually shared by almost all nursing students, actually. The experience, though new to us, is not really new at all. It’s just part of being a nursing student.
Mikki Smith, SN ECC1 (almost ECC2…)
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