Perspective…

I try not to complain. From time to time I can be found guilty of venting or sharing a possibly uninvited opinion, but I always *try* to be positive, especially on public forums. I don’t, however, consider this a public forum, and if I am going to vent, or be less than positive it will be here. This is my space. I don’t ask anyone to read this, I just share what I post- you can take it or leave it. I have found that complaining not only drains me, but those that I impose my complaints on. Have you ever logged on to FB and saw nothing but negative status after negative status? Instantly your mood is changed and you find something to gripe about. It’s like a bug, it just catches and spreads. The good news is that being positive can too. Being positive in a negative situation, however is much easier said than done…
I recently logged on FB and read the status of a dear friend who said something about being determined to stay positive and keep her focus on the right things no matter how difficult her surroundings were. I never asked what was going on, because I didn’t really need to know and dragging up whatever is going on defeats the point of maintaining a positive focus. I simply applauded her efforts and identified with that struggle. And it is hard. And I love throwing pity parties just as much as the next person. And from time to time I do- I’m never perfect. But those moments are rare and I only allow myself a very brief amount of time for it. Pity parties are useless. They accomplish nothing and cause you to focus on A. your problem, and B. YOU. Neither of which deserve to attention they are given during that time! Can you say selfish?!
I keep having to remind myself of this lately. I find myself in a very difficult-for-me-to-deal-with situation. And for a while I didn’t deal with it well. And yes, I had a pity party. Then I got over it. For now its life and we just have to do what we have to do- and this is part of it! And the lessons I learn here I will use somewhere down the road, that’s why God has me here. I find that I constantly am reminding myself of the saying that I use with the girls. It’s actually one I picked up from school this semester- “You don’t have to like it; you just have to do it.” But I also know that even if I don’t like it, I can still be happy. Even when it’s difficult. And I am pretty sure that the positive factors always outweigh the bad. When my mind races to the list of things that irritate me or I would like to be different and I start to complain I have to shift my focus. I have a beautiful, healthy family that I love dearly. My husband has a job. We have a place to live. We are warm in the winter and cool (kinda) in the summer and dry in the rain. We have cars. When they break down my husband can fix them. We always eat. Just that short list is enough to get your focus back where it should be. I just have to learn to be content with what really matters, and when I do that, all the rest just isn’t important. It’s all in how you look at it. And the way you look at it is totally up to you. I say that I am the eternal optimist. Always. Give me a problem and I will either solve it, or give you a “better” way to look at it. There is positive to every negative situation. Always. And when you can’t find it, it may be because your focus is on the wrong thing.
To me, this post seems vague and slightly elusive. But I know that for those in a situation like this, you get it. And maybe it will help you keep your chin up. Things could ALWAYS be worse than they are and if you are focused on the problems things usually seem worse than they really are too. So I am choosing to focus on the good, because honestly I am blessed far beyond what I deserve.